Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Happy Festivus!

Another year has gone by and the most famous holiday of the season is nearing. Today at The Craftsman B&B, we will celebrate Festivus! A holiday celebrated by those frustrated with the commercialism and pressure surrounding the Christmas and Hanukkah season.

Snowmen are still an acceptable holiday icon, regardless of which holiday you chose to celebrate. Me, I like the Winter Solstice and Festivus the best. I still celebrate Christmas but I am more in tune with the Festivus traditions.

First off we have the Festivus pole.

During Festivus, the pole is displayed unadorned, "I find tinsel distracting." Plain and simple, see yesterdays blog post. Made from aluminum, with a "very high strength-to-weight ratio."

The pole is easily stored in the crawlspace.

The Festivus dinner is again, plain and simple. I prefer meatloaf, but tonight, I think we are having pork chops and applesauce. No alcohol is served, but you are welcome to drink from a hip flask.

After the meal is served, the traditional "Airing of Grievances" begins. It consists of lashing out at others and the world about how one has been disappointed in the past year. You know this happens in traditional family gatherings anyway, so you might as well make it part of the celebration.

The "Feats of Strength" is the final tradition observed in the celebration of Festivus, celebrated immediately following dinner. Here is how it works: The head of the household selects one person at the Festivus celebration and challenges that person to a wrestling match. The person may decline if they have something else to do, such as pull a double shift at work or clean the kitchen. Tradition states that Festivus is not over until the head of the household is pinned. Failing to pin the head of the household results in Festivus continuing until such requirement is met. My brothers and I used to wrestle my Dad, until he faked an injury, usually his ribs, until one time when we really did crack his ribs.

So how ever you decide to celebrate the season, try Festivus this year. It's so easy, all you need to do is find an aluminum pole.

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